✳ ROBINHOOD CHAIN’S NIGHT SHIFT
ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING.
ALL NIGHT LONG.
A raccoon. A cold coffee. A terrible sleep schedule.
You have officially reached the end of the utility.
00 CUPS CONSUMEDPRODUCTIVITY: STILL 0%
EMPLOYEE
OF THE
MEH.
OF THE
MEH.
FIG. 01 — PEAK PERFORMANCEEST. FIVE MINUTES AGO
“Just one
more chart.”— 5 hours ago
more chart.”— 5 hours ago
NO UTILITY.✳JUST RACCOON.✳NO UTILITY.✳JUST RACCOON.✳
01 / THE BUSINESS PLAN
WE HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT WE’RE DOING.
THAT’S THE IDEA.
Everyone has a whitepaper. We have a coffee stain.
Everyone has a roadmap. We missed the exit.
Everyone is building the future. We’re still loading yesterday.
Night Shift is a meme. The raccoon is tired. You’re probably tired.
Let’s make something stupid together.
02 / IMPORTANT RESEARCH
PLEASE DO NOT
PRESS THIS BUTTON.
It does nothing useful.
Which makes it our flagship product.
03 / PROOF OF NOT WORKING
THE NIGHT SHIFT FILES.
Save them. Post them.
Call it community service.
YOU COULD BE ASLEEP RIGHT NOW.
BUT HERE
WE ARE✳
CLOCK IN WITH THE RACCOON ↗NO PITCH. NO GRAND PLAN. JUST FIVE MORE MINUTES.